Meet Rachel Durbeck: A Funeral Director at Memorial Funeral Homes

May 27, 2021

Meet Rachel Durbeck: A Funeral Director at Memorial Funeral Homes

Rachel Durbeck with her colleagues, Courtney Sullivan and Malek Slama.

It is with much excitement that we would like to announce that Rachel Durbeck is now a fully-fledged funeral director! Rachel’s a 2019 graduate of the University of Rhode Island with a bachelor’s degree in biology. 

Immediately upon graduation, Rachel joined our staff and enrolled at FINE Mortuary College, pursuing an associate degree in Mortuary Science to become a licensed funeral director and embalmer, which she has done successfully!  

Rachel hopes to provide families with compassionate guidance while handling the logistics and grief that follow death. Raised in Massachusetts, she has found her new home and work family here on Aquidneck Island. In her free time, (which she doesn’t have much of because she loves her work so much) you can find her hanging out with her puppies. 

We sat down with Rachel to ask her a few questions about what got her into this work.  

How did you get into this field of work?  

I was studying biology at the University of Rhode Island and I took an elective class in Thanatology, which is the the study of death, dying and bereavement. I took that course with Lark D’ Helen who I now work closely with here at Memorial Funeral Homes.

Before that class, I was a little lost and confused in college.  I started to take this class in Thanatology and all of a sudden everything made sense. I ended up doing my minor in Thanatology. I found it captivating. I had originally wanted to be a physician’s assistant. I love science, and taking care of people is really important to me. This kind of work checks both those boxes. It just feels like what I am supposed to be doing. I forget that I even get paid. 

What is the most rewarding part of your job? 

At the end of the funeral, you see this feeling come over the family. They come to peace with what’s happening. You can just see it in their eyes and in their faces, how they look at each other. It’s this bitter-sweetness, but they understand and appreciate the life that was lived. It’s like the calm after the storm or the wave crashing and then there is calm sea. You know that they are understanding and accepting the passing of a loved one.  

Part of your apprenticeship here at Memorial Funeral Homes was during the pandemic. Not being able to provide families the full opportunity to grieve the passing of loved one due to restrictions, how was that? 

It was horrible. It made me feel guilty. I started my apprenticeship before COVID-19 and we were used to handling big funerals and big wakes and then all of a sudden it was just five people that were allowed to be in the room. We had to get really creative. As time went on, I gained a new appreciation for the smaller gatherings because they were so much more intimate. You could just really feel the love and the energy. It was interesting to see this so early in my career.

What is the hardest part of your job? 

Heartbreak of any magnitude is awful. You can see when someone’s heart is broken. And time management: I feel guilty a lot of the time. I take care of the families first and foremost, but I have to take care of myself too. It’s hard taking that time for yourself.  

How has your own experiences with loss shaped how you approach others that are grieving? 

My mother’s father died when I was in 7 th grade and my first reflex was to take care of my mother. I have always been a caregiver. It was really natural to me. To be able to walk people through this journey was very dignifying to me. When my dad’s mom passed, I was his first call. My family has just always known that I will take care of them during difficult times and I think that shaped me to get into this profession.  

Why do you think families choose to work with Memorial Funeral Homes? 

I think families trust us. The Edenbach family has done such a beautiful job developing a good reputation. I am really honored to be working with them and really thankful that they trust me to work for them. I feel like everyone is welcome here and that people can hear and feel the honesty and sincerity in us when we interact with them.

The post Meet Rachel Durbeck: A Funeral Director at Memorial Funeral Homes appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

By Pearl Marvell 12 Apr, 2024
Not only is Holly a good girl, she is a busy one. Since joining the Portsmouth Police department, Holly has been attending lacrosse games, reading events at the Portsmouth Public Library, and providing joy and comfort to children at Portsmouth Middle School and beyond. Holly's training was entirely paid for by community donations (a big shout out to Clement's Market!) and her overall upkeep and any additional training will continue to be funded by donations. Needless to say, Holly has been a wonderful addition to the Aquidneck Island community, and has provided children with a way to destress and decompress, even when other forms of help haven't been as effective. Who doesn't want a little bit of puppy love! How old is Holly now? A little over a year and a half, she'll be two in July. She's still pretty young. When we get home, she's got more energy than all these kids combined! You already have a dog at home. How is that interaction? Oh, she's obsessed with him. He's going to be five next month, so he's not old, but he's getting a little up there. Yeah, but he'll he'll wrestle and stuff. Just something. She's a little much for him. Sometimes he'll be like, all right, enough. I'm going to take a nap. But, uh, she's just completely in love with him. Did you know that she would be living with you? I wasn't sure how this whole thing was going to go when I first pushed it. Yeah, I kind of figured that a dog would live with me. I just I didn't want to get a puppy because a lot of people around here had puppies, and I just didn't have the time or energy to train a puppy. As much as I love puppies, I just wasn't sure about that. I was pretty sure she was going to come home with me. I wasn't sure how he [his other dog] was going to take it. They are very much like kids, you love them, but you also know when you have reached you limit of how many you can have. Two is is my limit too [laughs], I'm good with that. How did this whole process start? This is my second year and sometime at the end of last year/ beginning of this year, we just had a casual conversation with the school [Portsmouth Middle School], talking about comfort dogs and what not, and kind of word made way to my department that I was talking about it. I got a call into someone's office and they said, "Hey, we know you're talking about it and the chief's all for it. He's with you if you want to do this." you can go. I started kind of just googling and looking into different companies that do the trainings and what not. And when I went to a comfort dog symposium at Brown University, I found out about this organization, Puppies Behind Bars . They told me about it and how they get the puppies and they raise them in prisons and train them there. And when they're ready, I go to New York for two weeks, train with them, and I bring her back. And I thought that was absolutely perfect because, like I said, I just I didn't want a puppy, and it saved a lot of money with all donations. I actually planned on doing this next year. I thought I was gonna have the dog ready for next year, but I emailed Puppies Behind Bars and they said in November, "Yeah, we have a class in January." So things went super, super quick, but it's worked out so well. I mean, she's been huge impact on the school. Is she going to go to all the different schools or just Portsmouth Middle School? All the elementary schools too. I bounce around. Can you walk me through a normal day with her? So I come in around 7/730 am. A normal day is kind of tough because every day something different. Sometimes, I'll go into certain classrooms and because she was new, I introduce her, talk about her, show off a few of her commands. She's got like, 40 commands, so I do about 7 or 8 for the kids in the class. I let them pet her, and I'll do that in 6 or 7 classrooms a day. Other times I have the social workers send me a schedule of certain kids they think really need Holly for the day, for therapy session. Today, one of the kids who earned points for one of our clubs gets to sit with her and play fetch with her. Two weeks ago, I was at one of the schools and Holly and I read a book to one of the kids. It really depends on who emails me first and gets to me is kind of how we schedule it. I assume she must be in high demand She's in very high demand here. I keep telling myself I have to get a planner for her so that I can remember everything. It's unbelievable that just when people see her, their faces just light up. That's awesome. I mean, for you, it must be really interesting going into these schools and just kind of getting that interaction with her and the kids. That must bring you a lot of joy on a daily basis. I'm a huge dog person, so that was incredible, and yeah, whenever I walk in in the morning, it's every staff member. They just light up, and come and pet Holly. And then the kids come in and do the same thing. It's just huge. The principal was telling me that it's a huge game changer just to have a dog in the school. Even the police station, whenever people see her, the morale just boosts when she's in the room. The last question is what does she like to do during the off time like on the weekends and and after hours? That's a good question and important question. So actually during school hours I give her between 20 and 30 minutes of fetch time outside. I take a long lunch so she can, you know, just be a dog. When we're at home, I actually live near a school in Westport. and there's a big field there. She likes to play fetch. We go to dog parks that she loves. When the weather gets warmer, she's a big swimmer, so I have to take her on some hikes around lakes. She loves the water. You can follow Holly on Facebook here and follow her on Instagram @comfortdogholly! Donations can be made out to and/or dropped off to the Portsmouth Police Department.
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