I am busily packing up my house, the only house I ever bought, with my now deceased husband. I am at the odds and ends portion of the move which do not neatly fit into boxes or bags. For many of the objects I wonder how I got these things, and do I really have to keep them? I hope you won’t judge me negatively when I tell you one of those remaining things is a simple wooden urn with my husband’s name, dates and two chess pieces carved into it in the closet on the ironing board under my clothes. It is lovely and I am ready to not look at it every day anymore. Hiding him away in a closet is not representative of the life he lived, so I feel guilty for not wanting to look at his box every single day.
My son (20 years old) and I are in a battle of wills over what to do his papa, he says, “he stays in the box!” I have this new idea that feels right to me. I want to turn his cremated remains (read ashes) into solidified remains, with the help of Parting Stone. I just love the idea of it. At their laboratory in New Mexico Parting Stone’s technology is able to turn a one-hundred-pound person’s remains into about 25 stones. Each person’s remains has a different color and texture. What appeals to me about the stones is I can touch and hold him. They are solid, clean, portable, and shareable. I think having him in a solid form may give a space for more healing and growth. Right now, it feels awkward to hold a rectangular wooden box but holding a soft edged round stone feels more like him, more comfortable. I could carry part of him in my pocket to give me strength in hard times or so he can be there at our son’s graduation from college or his wedding or his first performance in an opera or any number of events my husband will miss. I do not want to lose or forget him in a closet. I think these stones could help keep him in my heart and mind and that of my son. If my son would just trust me one more time to make a good choice for us and for him. Now to convince a strongly opinionated 20-year-old.
Lots of funeral homes have the option of cremated remains or solidified remains. Either can provide a meaningful goodbye experience. I will keep you posted if I get my wish. If it is your wish you can click here.
If you have additional questions please call Rachel Durbeck at 401-846-0698.