Meet Rachel Durbeck: A Funeral Director at Memorial Funeral Homes

Meet Rachel Durbeck: A Funeral Director at Memorial Funeral Homes

It is with much excitement that we would like to announce that Rachel Durbeck is now a fully-fledged funeral director! Rachel’s a 2019 graduate of the University of Rhode Island with a bachelor’s degree in biology. 

Immediately upon graduation, Rachel joined our staff and enrolled at FINE Mortuary College, pursuing an associate degree in Mortuary Science to become a licensed funeral director and embalmer, which she has done successfully!  

Rachel hopes to provide families with compassionate guidance while handling the logistics and grief that follow death. Raised in Massachusetts, she has found her new home and work family here on Aquidneck Island. In her free time, (which she doesn’t have much of because she loves her work so much) you can find her hanging out with her puppies. 

We sat down with Rachel to ask her a few questions about what got her into this work.  

I was studying biology at the University of Rhode Island and I took an elective class in Thanatology, which is the the study of death, dying and bereavement. I took that course with Lark D’ Helen who I now work closely with here at Memorial Funeral Homes.

Before that class, I was a little lost and confused in college.  I started to take this class in Thanatology and all of a sudden everything made sense. I ended up doing my minor in Thanatology. I found it captivating. I had originally wanted to be a physician’s assistant. I love science, and taking care of people is really important to me. This kind of work checks both those boxes. It just feels like what I am supposed to be doing. I forget that I even get paid. 

At the end of the funeral, you see this feeling come over the family. They come to peace with what’s happening. You can just see it in their eyes and in their faces, how they look at each other. It’s this bitter-sweetness, but they understand and appreciate the life that was lived. It’s like the calm after the storm or the wave crashing and then there is calm sea. You know that they are understanding and accepting the passing of a loved one.  

It was horrible. It made me feel guilty. I started my apprenticeship before COVID-19 and we were used to handling big funerals and big wakes and then all of a sudden it was just five people that were allowed to be in the room. We had to get really creative. As time went on, I gained a new appreciation for the smaller gatherings because they were so much more intimate. You could just really feel the love and the energy. It was interesting to see this so early in my career.

Heartbreak of any magnitude is awful. You can see when someone’s heart is broken. And time management: I feel guilty a lot of the time. I take care of the families first and foremost, but I have to take care of myself too. It’s hard taking that time for yourself.  

My mother’s father died when I was in 7 ^th grade and my first reflex was to take care of my mother. I have always been a caregiver. It was really natural to me. To be able to walk people through this journey was very dignifying to me. When my dad’s mom passed, I was his first call. My family has just always known that I will take care of them during difficult times and I think that shaped me to get into this profession.  

I think families trust us. The Edenbach family has done such a beautiful job developing a good reputation. I am really honored to be working with them and really thankful that they trust me to work for them. I feel like everyone is welcome here and that people can hear and feel the honesty and sincerity in us when we interact with them.

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